Right here, right now.

If you never really predict what's going to happen, and keep yourself ready for whatever, life is a pleasant roller coaster. My father said this to me before I went on stage for my speech for an elocution competition in 9th grade. I was nervous and I kept saying stuff like "What if I fumble while speaking" etc etc. After my dad said that to me, I stopped thinking about how it's going to go! I just kept rehearsing. It turned out that I actually did fumble, but I managed to rock my speech over all and left the stage to applause! If I would've thought a lot, I would have left the stage believing that my worst nightmare just became a reality! Without even taking the applause into consideration. That's how much I was scared of fumbling! But in fact I quite enjoyed the feeling of connecting with so many people at once. (:

I overthink at times, everyone does. We think too much about the future sometimes, but actually half of our lives are just in our heads. Which is quite ridiculous but true, so I'm working on just being in the now. It takes so much weight off my shoulders! You must give it a shot :)

 I have been trying not to expect anything from life. Like, even if I throw a ball, I don't want to expect it to fall because of gravity (exaggeration). It's just something I've learnt through the past, to not think about the future at all. Just living in the moment. But hey, this is completely different from future planning and setting goals. Life needs a direction, after all :)

What do you want your life partner to be like?

So I was asked this question recently and I thought I should probably post it with the answer :D

Quite an interesting question. So here it goes. 


First of all, let's put it straight, people cannot be described. Qualities are something they possess, qualities are not THEM. I know a friend of mine for the last 5 years, that doesn't mean I know the person in and out. He's still a mystery to me. At least a part of him is. I like people who have endless depth and so much more to them than the ability to understand my emotions or stuff like that. Of course, it indeed is necessary for that person to be understanding, but,  I like people who are interesting in a way that there's always something to know about them. I like mysteries. And I like simplicity. People who I can have light and easy relationships with. Nobody likes sour relationships, right? I want to be with a person who is vibrating at the same wavelength as mine. Disagreement drains a lot of energy. 


To be honest, I can't even describe myself properly, how will I describe the person I want to be with? I love mysteries and simplicity, that's all I can say.❤️

So essentially, there are innumerable combinations of physical features, ways of thinking and living, and basically being, and I am waiting for that one combination which I absolutely admire ❤️ which I'm yet to know..



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Me to 15-year-old me:

More than half of you wants to study because the world out there is waiting for your 90 percent marksheet. Well, you know what? Heck with the world and the marksheet. You've got absolutely nothing to prove. Study and score because YOU want to be happy about it when you see your score! Study because YOU want to get that feeling of accomplishment! Not because they want to see a 90. Tell them to give the damn boards to get their own 90


This was just an expression of how badly I want you to understand that what people think, doesn't matter. Because they expected me to get a 90 in my 10th and I got an 80 and my teachers never even celebrated that I got an 80! Then I saw my teacher congratulating a student who got a 70 something who was apparently "not so smart" in their eyes. They came and told me "I expected more from you, Archana" and I was like, welI, heck with you. I got an 80 even after studying just for just a month! Damn, I am supergirl to do that :P That too along with all sorts of extra curricular activities.

When I was in my 10th grade, I was involved with all sorts of activities in school. I had that "it's your last year in school, make the most if it" feeling. So I joined the dodge ball team, the dance crew and everything. Also, I used to enjoy biology and chemistry in class. Because of which I used to be interactive during the lectures. Which got my teachers to think that I study 8 hours a day and that I'm going to score a 90 in my boards. But the truth was, I was busy doing so so many other things. And trust me, I don't regret that. So anyway, the teachers were expecting a lot more from me. At that point of time the 15 year old me was under a lot of pressure. I was scared. I knew I won't be able to score well because I was into other things. I started studying a month before my boards were going to start, and all of the other students had finished revising the 3rd time! At that time my brother tried explaining to me that it was a better decision to make the most of my last year in school. I didn't understand any of this back then. But now I know I did the right thing. And it gave me strength to get over this marksheet. But I got over it.


I've learnt. Your school grades don't define you. They don't define your intelligence. All that matters is what YOU want to do in life and what you like doing. Try doing something you're passionate about, and I assure you, you'll be willing enough to work on it, be good at it, and not care about what others think. You'll do it for YOU. And that is what matters.

     

      Around a week ago I lost my classmate to an unfortunate incident that took place. My friends and I, all of us were completely shaken as to what happened. I'm yet to digest how this happened. We were all completely saddened. I mean he was OUR age. He had all of his future planned.
This made me think. A LOT. Something as simple as "Ya, I'll see you tomorrow" could be so wrong. I decided to take it up as a learning experience.  See how unpredictable and fragile life is. You never know if there's gonna be a tomorrow so you make the best of today. Not by being scared of not having a tomorrow, but simply knowing that it's not all permanent.
It's insane how everything just vanishes in the blink of an eye.

In the words of Saint Kabirdas-

"Mat kar maya ko ahankaar
Mat kar kaya ko abhimaan,
Kaya gaar se kaachi."

Translation:

Don't take pride in your wealth, don't take pride in your body, for this body is more fragile than the mud upon the potter's wheel.

"Kaya gaar se kaachi re jaisa osra moti,
Jhoka pavan ka lag jaaye, jhapka pavan ka lag jaaye, kaya dhool ho jaasi"

Translation:

The body is more fragile than the mud upon the potter's wheel just like a dew drop.
One gentle push of the wind and the body turns into dust.

LOVE.

   How does love help you? What do you exactly mean when you say you "love" a person? Is it right to "fall" in love? Is it possible to "rise" in love instead falling in love? These questions haunted me for a while. Watching the teenage world around me going on and on about love, I also thought of actually contemplating on this. I realized, I would love my boyfriend just how I love my mom. In the sense that there's a difference between "falling" in love and simply loving. When you say you have "fallen" in love, it sounds much like a problem. Like "I have fallen in a pit". Now such love, which binds you, doesn't let you free, restricts you from being you, changes you, and takes control over you, is most certainly NOT true love. Love, I feel, is easy. Love will HELP you. It should give you strength and confidence! It should give you an optimistic outlook towards the world. It should improve your life! Make it easier! After all, you have a person to share all your burdens with. Isn't that the whole point? That person is the one person you truly care about. And if that person himself is sort of a burden to you, what's the point? Love should make you RISE. It should bring out the best in you. It should make you free of insecurities.

    

   Or.... Maybe it's just an emotion, just like happiness or sadness. Which shows that it's temporary. And I feel, every god damned feeling and emotion on earth is temporary. Because, one emotion has to pass to make space for the next one! It's up to you to hold on it or let it go.

   "Love is true only when it hurts." "We can sacrifice things for each other and we'll get through this together." -biggest misconceptions ever. Love is easy. Love is simple. Love is natural. It's a beautiful emotion to seize but also not drag, it's a tender balance between being a pushover and being unnecessarily rigid. Glorifying the fact that you're doing a lot for your partner is like showing that you’re doing an obligation to your partner. And you both don't want that.

   

    To have a relationship is not something to follow rules in. It's a choice. I wouldn't say love is a choice, but whether you want to hold on to it or no, is.  When people say "relationship", they mean commitment. In a negative manner, meaning it involves rules and restrictions, of not being able to be with anyone else except for that one person.  For me, it's not a rule, it's not a compulsion, and it’s a choice. Because you realize that you love spending time with that person, why would you miss being with someone else? And people often associate love with compromise and sacrifice. They're words that refer to forcibly letting go of something. Whereas I feel it should happen naturally. In my case it does, as in, if you're doing something for the person you care about, doing that will make you happy, you're doing it by choice! It's not forceful. So in relationships, if you have to ADJUST, you're not in the right place. If doing something for someone else is a part of your comfort zone, you're good to go.

One step at a time

                 It’s amazing how you can learn from little day-to-day incidents in your life. This summer, I had gone for a trip to Uttarkashi, which is in Uttarakhand. We had a 5-day camp after which we went for a trek to Gomukh, which is the snout of the Gangotri glacier. Basically, it’s a 14km walk to Bhojvasa, and another 4/5 kms to reach Gomukh. The thing with this trek is, is that the walk is not the difficult part, if you walk at a steady and slow pace, it can be managed with just 1 or 2 breaks in the middle. The difficult part of the trek is altitude sickness. Many people who are not used to high altitudes are prone to getting affected by altitude sickness while going to Gomukh. Altitude sickness causes breathlessness due to less amount of oxygen in the atmosphere. It also causes an extremely painful throbbing headache and giddiness. I was one of the people who were victims to this. While going to Gomukh, after about 9 kms of continuous walking, my head started feeling heavy. It just kept worsening every minute. Walking got difficult and my body started feeling weak. To top it all, my mind started playing games with me. Telling me that I can’t do it. There were 5 more kms to reach Bhojvasa and I knew I had no choice but to keep walking. I took a tablet, which solved my problem of breathlessness, but the headache just wouldn’t go. There was no turning back, I knew I just HAD to reach Bhojvasa. That was the place where we were supposed to spend our next night. So I gathered myself, and decided to take one step at a time. It was difficult because my mind kept reminding me that there are FIVE more kms to go. It all just started building up in my head, being in the middle of nowhere, 9 kms ahead of the previous checkpoint and 5 kms away from the next one. We all were constantly keeping ourselves hydrated. We lived on just dry fruits for 2 days. After a while, this “one step at a time” thing started working. I was looking at the next rock I was going to step on and nothing beyond that. It was difficult not looking ahead, knowing that there’s a neverending path to follow, but I started handling myself and started avoiding thinking about the rest of the road. I got better, Held myself together, got my mind in control. At this point of time, being able to do that makes me feel so much better about myself. It may sound easy but it was a huge task for me. I also used the method “Don’t think, just walk.” I literally didn’t give my mind a chance to even imagine how I’m going to be able to make it. I just knew that I was conscious of my body; I had to use my feet to walk! Nothing else. There was a point where I was feeling so giddy that I could barely see through my eyes. Man, that was scary. But ya, I got through it all. After so much of mental and physical activity, we finally reached Bhojvasa in the evening, which was situated in the middle of a valley. There were small huts and tents put up there for trekkers to halt for a night. We spent a freezing night in the tents without light and electricity. THAT was a proper test for me, stepping out of my comfort zone. Oh no, wait, stepping is the wrong word here. I was so far from my comfort zone that I couldn’t even see it. :3 Quite an experience. The next morning we left for Gangotri, we couldn’t go ahead of Bhojvasa because of a time crunch. After this trek, after a nice peaceful night’s sleep, we left for Rishikesh in the morning. We went to Rishikesh for river rafting which was A-MAZING! It was a wonderful experience. After rafting we left for Haridwar, and then Delhi and then back to Mumbai.

                   I learnt a lot of things from this trip. I’m taking so many memories home, and I’ve learnt so many lessons, my life is going to be easier.

1.     One step at a time

I tend to over think sometimes. Every time I start thinking about the future, my mom reminds me to be in the moment and tells me “That’s not in your next ten meters.” This sentence helps me so much. And it makes so much sense! Thinking about the future does nothing but drains your energy and spoils your mood. And the future is beyond our control. One way to control your future is to act according to your requirement. The good old “Karm karte jao, phal ki chinta mat karo.” Or “Do your best, leave the rest.” Or “Karmanye vadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadachana.” In short, LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

“Keep your mind where your hands are working”

                                                  -Swami Chinmayananda.

2. Life starts at the end of your comfort zone.

I’ve learnt that living in my comfort zone will get me nowhere. It’ll do nothing but enslave me to certain comforts in life. The lesson of detachment goes hand in hand with this lesson. This trip has taught me the importance of detachment. Detachment from things, that I used to feel were necessary for me to be comfortable. For example, I spent more than half of the trip without my cell phone because there was no range there. I realized that I was a slave to a mere piece of machine. It’s not like I’m giving up on my cell phone now, but then, now, I at least know that I could do without it, in fact, to be honest, those 4/5 days were peaceful. It was nice, not having my cell phone beep every other minute. It gave me a sense of disconnection from the rest of the world, which gave me, time for “me”.

3. Seizing every moment.

This came from river rafting. I have felt every bit of the cold water gushing through me, and the current of Mother Ganga just driving me and throwing me from one place to another. MAN! What an experience. I have lived every bit of it.

4. To strive.

After this trip, I have got a sense of confidence within myself. I learnt to work hard to get to where I want to reach. I learnt to push myself through every struggle. And I learnt that the struggle is temporary. If there’s a storm, it HAS to be followed by a rainbow.

5. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

        Not being able to go up to Gomukh was a little disappointing, but it is very necessary to understand the importance of the journey. I have learnt so much through the trek. This concept is definitely going to help me in my life ahead..

“The success is not in the trophy won, but in the race run” 

–Swami Chinmayananda

Overall, this trip was an ammmmmaaazzzzinngg experience, just thought I should share it with you :D